MISS - Better Living Through Crime - a Humanoids Graphic Novel

As I get more and more tired of today's mainstream comics, I find myself more and more looking at a lot of the independent publishers out there, as they tend to put out some really great work that often goes unnoticed.  Most who know me and my love of comics know how much I enjoy the indy publishers (Eclipse, Pacific, First, Charlton, Dell, Gold Key, Whitman, Dynamite, IDW, Dark Horse, etc.), and I always find it a thrill to come across a new publisher (new to me, anyway).  The advertisement in Previews for this graphic novel collection sold me on the title and cover alone - a white woman in 1920s dress sitting next to a black man, and a simply title and tagline:  Miss - Better Living Through Crime.

Originally published in France back from 1999 to 2002, Miss was written by Phillippe Thirault and drawn by Marc Riou and Mark Vigouroux.  The comics tell the story of Nola and Slim - a poor white girl with a lot of grit and a black pimp who knows how to stay one step ahead of the law.  Circumstances bring these two together, and they become the most unlikely of partners in a continuing crime spree in New York during the 1920s.  They basically become hired hitmen (well, one man and one woman), willing to take out anyone if the price is right.  But neither of them are without conscience, and neither of them are without heart - which is what makes this book an extremely engaging and interesting read.

The graphic novel contains four, full-length stories that follow Nola and Slim from their initial meeting to the culmination of their growing friendship and partnership in crime.  The title, Miss, comes from the fact that Slim nearly always refers to Nola simply as "Miss."  The first story introduces readers to these two would-be assassins who grew up learning from the school of hard knocks.  Nola was the daughter of a whore and a drunk, whose brother got himself killed before he was even a teenager.  Slim was a wanna-be pimp with a penchant for owing a lot of people a lot of money.  Unfortunate circumstances bring them together, and because of Nola's accidental involvement with a hit-job, she and Slim discover they can make some money by taking jobs that fall way outside the law.  Their first job, however, does not go as planned when Nola discovers that their target is a child!  A double-cross of their boss leaves Nola wounded, and Slim has to reach out to the family that wants nothing to do with him in order to save her life!

The second story takes Nola and Slim on a yacht trip, where their job is to snuff out the husband of a woman ready to get her hands on her husband's money - the only thing is, the husband is already dying of cancer and planned to use the trip to "fall overboard" so that he did not die a slow, debilitating death.  Of course, Nola and Slim take the credit and the money.  That little adventure is nothing more than an introduction to a story that delves more into both Nola's and Slim's pasts, as Nola must confront her mother one last time and Slim must face his own pimping past...

The third tale presents some unexpected turns as Nola and Slim are hired to kill a black man, only to find themselves face-to-face with the fanatical KKK - and in the 1920s, there was no mercy!  Then they take on a different kind of case when an elderly woman asks them to rescue her grandson from a mental hospital, where her son's latest wife had contrived to have him committed so that her son would inherit the family fortune - but not everything is what it seems, and Nola and Slim quickly find out that looks can be deceiving and learn that they should learn more about their clients before they take a job!

The final story brings Nola and Slim's journey to a very satisfying conclusion.  With Nola's backstory resolved in the prior tales, this last one deals with some of Slim's relationships.  A corporate hit that doesn't go as planned and a spoiled actress who eventually gets what she deserves lead up to Nola dealing justice to the man whose life was so intertwined with Slim's that she has to tread carefully or risk losing her partner and friend forever!

Thirault creates a dark underworld of the 1920s, but at the same time, despite the darker nature of the characters and the world in which they live, also offers some hope.  The stories take place over a decade of time, and during that time, Nola and Slim grow in so many ways.  They become more confident as the stories progress; they become more skilled in their job; they become more adept at detecting the lies and betrayals; and probably most important, they become so much more than just working partners - they become friends...allies...and eventually, they become more to each other than they ever imagined when they first met.  This book is a story of more than just crime and hitmen in the '20s - it's about characters and emotions and pain and love and life itself.

While the topics may be quite mature and dark, the book is one I would highly recommend to not only comic book fans, but also to those who love to read a really good story with some depth to it.

RATING:  10 dropped tea trays out of 10 for proving that comics can be more than just superheroes and still tell an amazingly good story!

Whitman Mystery Stories - Invisible Scarlet O'Neil

The more I read of these "Mystery and Adventure Stories for Girls and Boys" published by Whitman Publishing Company back in the '40s and '50s, the more I am enjoying them.  I always thought of them as the "poor boy" version of regular series books, such as Nancy Drew, Bobbsey Twins, Tom Swift, etc.  But, in actuality, a lot of these stories are actually very well written and quite enjoyable.  This latest book is one I was searching for in good condition for quite a long time.  I had heard about the character (she was a comic strip character created by Russell Stamm back in 1940 for the Chicago Times, who also later appeared in her own comic book stories and in two Big Little Books), and I knew that Whitman had published a prose novel based on the character - but the books I found either were lacking the dust jacket or were in such poor condition, I was afraid they would fall apart if I touched them.  Having been published in 1943, I knew it would take me a while to find one in good enough condition to satisfy me.  And this year, that wait finally paid off!

I found a beautiful copy of Invisible Scarlet O'Neil at the antique mall in Mount Dora, Florida, with full dust jacket in tact and in great condition (meaning the pages were not coming detached from the spine, as many Whitman books have a tendency to do!).  And, since the price was more than reasonable, I picked it up.  Now, after months of sitting on my shelf waiting, I finally had the opportunity to read it.  It was not at all what I expected, but it was definitely a fun read that was well worth the time spent.  Most definitely it is a product of its time, with some of the stereotypes one would expect from a book written back in the 1940s, but some of Scarlet's characteristics - such as her desire to help others, her frustration with self-centered, selfish people, and her humility in refusing to let those she helps know just what she has done for them - most definitely stand the test of time.  We need more people like her in today's world!

 

The story itself is not typical of the book-length novels that most children's mysteries were in that day.  Instead, the book is made up of a number of smaller stories, which follow one another sequentially, almost as if they were adapted from stories in the daily newspaper strip.  Each tale takes up two or three chapters, with 21 illustrations throughout the book.  The first story involves a case of mistaken identity (or mistaken car, as the case may be), when Scarlet witnesses a man get struck by a vehicle, but the police arrest the wrong man who happens to have an identical vehicle.  Scarlet uses her power of invisibility to track down the real culprits and trick them into confessing to the crime.  The second tale finds Scarlet determined to rescue a small puppy that belonged to a wealthy socialite who has died and left her fortune to the puppy instead of a niece, who is bitter over the loss of the fortune.  When the niece kidnaps the puppy, Scarlet uses her powers to get the pup back to its caretaker and away from the vicious woman who cares more about the money than the dog!  

The third story involves a former boxer who is down on his luck and needs to find work to support his son after his wife dies.  He thinks his luck has finally turned when he gets the opportunity to box again, but Scarlet happens to overhear the men who have given him the opportunity and she knows they are running a scam that could permanently ruin his life - so it's up to her to save the day!  The fourth tale takes Scarlet to a prison where a man is about to be put to death for a crime he didn't commit.  Scarlet uses her wits (and her power of invisibility!) to uncover the true culprits and lead the cops to them just in the nick of time to save the innocent man's life!  The fifth adventure is one in which Scarlet must stop a ring of tire thieves, who are about to embark on their biggest score yet when they hijack the trucks from a tire factory nearby.

The sixth, and final, story is the longest in the book, lasting for several chapters.  In it, Scarlet stumbled upon a very poor boy who finds a small lamp that he pretends to be Aladdin's lamp.  When some bullies give him a hard time, Scarlet decides to use her power of invisibility to appear and be the "genie" the boy believes is in the lamp.  Through a series of adventures and wishes, which Scarlet tries desperately to fulfill, the boy ends up in Hollywood, where he has always dreamed of being an actor.  But there are people in Hollywood who have other plans - from a jealous woman who wants her son to be the lead in these movies to an underhanded man who thinks he can take the lamp for himself and gain quick riches.  Scarlet inadvertently puts the boy's life in danger, so she must work hard to not only save his life, but convince him that he no longer needs the lamp to fulfill his wishes for his life.

I could easily see all of these stories being laid out as a daily three or four-panel serial in a daily newspaper strip; but when I tried to find some Invisible Scarlet O'Neil strips online, or even just determine whether these stories are new tales or adapted from the strips, I was not able to confirm one way or the other.  It seems information about this book is just as invisible as the star herself!  I was not even able to get confirmation as to whether the character's creator, Russell Stamm, wrote the book for Whitman and/or provided the illustrations.  There is no credit given to author or illustrator in the book, but several places indicate the book is "Based Upon the Famous Newspaper Strip by Russell Stamm."

The books was certainly enjoyable, and it makes me hunger even more for other "Authorized Editions" by Whitman from back in the day.  Watch out eBay, here I come!

RATING:  9 notes written by a ghost out of 10 for crafting enjoyable little tales that bring this strip character to life in novel form!

Grave Consequences - the fifth Bay Island Psychic Mystery

Okay, so my question from the previous book about the prominence of the lighthouse in that book and on the cover of that book actually came to fruition in this fifth book in the Bay Island Psychic Mystery series by Lena Gregory.  This fifth book in the series has a mystery that centers around the Bay Island lighthouse!  It's always nice when a series like this uses a bit of foreshadowing for future mysteries, whether it is with characters, locales, or inanimate objects.  It gives the series a sense of grounding in reality, that the world that I immerse myself into each time I pick up the next book is more than just a fictional story - it's a real world with real people that I come to know and love (and none more so than Bee Maxwell!!!).

Grave Consequences finds its protagonist, Cass Donovan, fighting an internal battle against the voices from beyond the grave that are battling for her attention.  It seems ever since Cass came to terms with the fact that she really did have a gift for sensing and hearing things from the other side, everyone and their kid brother has shown up in her mind, trying to get her to do something for them!  She is battling to quiet those voices so she can sense the one thing that is most important at the moment - when and how her best friend Stephanie and her husband will find a child to adopt!  But instead of being able to help one of her best friends, she keeps getting bombarded by voices, one of which repeatedly mentions the lighthouse.  Deciding to heed the call (warning? cry for help?), Cass, Stephanie, and Bee had up to the Bay Island lighthouse to see what is going on.  Little do any of them know, there's a lot more going on than they could possibly suspect!

The lighthouse owner, Fred DiCarlo, is now running ghost tours, of which the lighthouse is a part of the tour.  It seems he discovered an old ghost story about a treasure hidden somewhere around the lighthouse and a pirate ghost who keeps watch over it.  His wife, Amelia, is none-too-keen on the idea, and Cass finds her to be unhappy with her husband for more than just the ghost tour.  Some subtle hints at infidelity have Bee all abuzz (yes, that pun was fully intended, thank you!) about finding out the full gossip - but before all the facts can be uncovered, Cass witnesses Fred falling from an upper story window down onto the rocky shore below!  Her mind had been barraged by voices at that time, and she thought she saw a shadow in the window - but was that really a person there or just her imagination working overtime?  By the time she, Stephanie, and Bee get back down from their climb up the lighthouse stairs, a crowd has gathered.  Cass tries CPR, but it is too late...

And thus, Cass gets drawn into yet another murder mystery, and this time, her psychic powers and intuition may not be enough to save her from a killer that thinks she has spoken to the victim and could reveal his or her identity!  But when a stranger comes to town and reveals herself to be a fellow psychic who can teach Cass how to block out the unwanted voices, Cass to decide whether Simone Carlson is truly on the up-and-up, particularly when she uncovers the fact that Simone has a history with the deceased and his wife.  Then there's the summer lifeguard who confronted Fred DiCarlo about trying to sleep with his girlfriend.  And there's the lighthouse maintenance man who seems awfully protective of Amelia DiCarlo.  And just what secrets could the journal of a long dead woman hold that could potentially unravel the entire mystery for Cass and her friends?

Gregory weaves plenty of lies, misdirections, betrayals, and danger into this one, and Cass's growing concern over Stephanie and her husband due to the visions she keeps having ultimately lead to a rather unexpected twist at the end - a very clever one that Gregory deserves huge kudos for writing!  Definitely did not see that one coming!  And Bee Maxwell shines brightly in this mystery - he is probably the most fun character in this series, with a personality that will make you smile, make you laugh, and make you cringe.  He's so over-the-top, yet utterly believable - leaving me to wonder if Gregory has a real-life friend upon whom she has modeled Bee.  I still wish we could see a stand-alone Bee Maxwell mystery (or even give him his own series! I would buy it in a heartbeat!!!).

I am so thrilled that Gregory has continued with this series, even though the original publisher did not pick up the books after the third one.  These characters, these mysteries - they are just too good not be read, and Gregory has a real talent for breathing life into fictional characters that make them feel like family and not just words on a page.  I cheer, I laugh, I cry, I hold my breath - everything thing Cass, Stephanie, and Bee experience, it's like I'm experiencing it right along with them.  Not many authors can make reading a book a true experience like that, but Gregory definitely can!  I already have the next book in the series and can't wait to read it!

RATING:  10 garnet-adorned dog collars out of 10 for mixing the right amount of ghosts, murder, and mystery to tell the perfect story!

How to Get Away with Myrtle - a Myrtle Hardcastle Mystery #2

Precocious young female detectives are always fun to read, and none more so than twelve-year old Myrtle Hardcastle.  Author Elizabeth C. Bunce has a wonderful creation on her hands, with characters that are fun, sometimes outlandish, perky, and without a doubt engaging from page one to the very last page of the story.  For those who read the first book in this series, you'll recall that young Myrtle Hardcastle, whose mother has died and her father is doing his best to care for her, along with the help of a young governess and a domineering aunt (remember, this series is set in England the late 1800s), becomes involved in solving the murder of her family's next door neighbor.  Everyone does their best to keep Myrtle out of the investigation, but her sense of right and wrong, her penchant for trouble, and her keen mind filled with facts, observational skills, and deductive reasoning keep Myrtle sticking her nose into the matter until she ultimately uncovers the truth and leads the police to the killer!  Well, now, her father has decided to send her on a vacation with her governess and aunt, to help keep her from being involved with the nasty business of solving murders.  Yeah, right, like that's gonna work...

How to Get Away with Myrtle finds Myrtle, her governess Miss Judson, and her Aunt Helena taking a luxury train ride to a new seaside resort for a vacation away from any kind of trouble.  Myrtle is hard-pressed to find anything enjoyable about the trip, but her Aunt Helena seems to become enthralled with the owner of the train, Sir Quentin Ballingall, and his daughter, Temperance.  But Myrtle is more interested in the rather strong-willed Mrs. Bloom, who is an insurance investigator taking this train ride to insure that the very expensive Northern Lights Tiara (commissioned to commemorate the royal wedding) is kept safe during the trip.  Myrtle never knew that women could be insurance investigators, and she is intrigued by this woman's fierce demeanor and admires her determination and backbone when faced with men who think they know better than her!  So, it's only natural that when Mrs. Bloom turns up dead, her body found by Myrtle and a young boy, Clive, who loves photography and whose father happens to be the manager at the hotel where Myrtle will be staying, that Myrtle would feel an obligation to solve her murder.  And it's a good thing too, since the constabulary in Fairhaven seem less than capable.  And when the rather rude Inspector Arkwright arrives on the scene, Myrtle is more determined than ever to get justice for poor Mrs. Bloom.

The question is - who killed her and why?  And just how did her Aunt Helena's golden scissors come to be sticking out of Mrs. Bloom's back?  Did her Aunt kill the insurance investigator?  Myrtle had noticed the tension between them, but she could not bring herself to imagine her aunt doing such a deed.  Was the murder connected to the theft of the Northern Lights Tiara that occurred on the train ride down to Fairhaven?  If so, then there were plenty of suspects.  The rather rough Mr. Coogan, a guard hired to serve on Ballingall's train who had a history of public drunkenness and violence.  The presumptuously pompous Quentin Ballingall, who could use the theft as a means to cash in on the insurance policy.  The unnaturally nervous Mr. Penrose, who seems to have more going on than just bringing his invalid daughter to the seaside for a holiday.  The anything-but-talented Temperance Ballingall, who was the last person to have the tiara when it disappeared from her head after the lights went out.  And while the two elderly ladies, Miss Causton and Miss Cabot, may seem innocent enough, Myrtle knows one can never assume anything,  And let's not forget that enigmatic Swedish gentleman, Mr. Strand, who is quiet and stays pretty much to himself the entire time.  Or the grim-faced Nurse Temby, who seems less-than-thrilled about constantly toting Miss Penrose everywhere.  And with Miss Judson telling her at every turn to stay out of it, Myrte must enlist the aid of young Clive to help her find out what really happened to Mrs. Bloom!

Bunce provides another intricately-woven tale, where the clues are there if you know where to look for them!  And this time around, there is so much more going on that what appears to the casual reader.  Not only do we have a thief and a murderer, but there are lies and secrets galore, a hidden love affair, and when Aunt Helena is arrested by Inspector Arkwright for the murder of Mrs. Bloom, Myrtle must work overtime to figure out Mrs. Bloom's coded journal and uncover the truth behind her investigation, her connection to the people in Fairhaven, and just why did someone want her out of the picture for good!  

This is an enjoyable series that I would highly recommend - a strong lead character, an excellent supporting cast, and some of the best-written mysteries around!

RATING:  10 tables filled with sandwiches, cakes, and dainties out of 10 for an excellent mix of mystery, humor, and drama that make for a fantastic read!

Short Lived Comic Series #19 - Doomsday +1 (Charlton Comics)

The more comics I read published by Charlton Comics back in the '60s and '70s, the more I am truly beginning to appreciate them.  When I saw them on the comic racks or magazine shelves as a kid, I would just pass them over, seeing them as nothing more than "poor man" comics for kids who could not afford "real" comics, like DC Comics or Marvel Comics.  Little did I realize what great material I was overlooking at the time!  Comics like E-Man, Bionic Woman, Vengeance Squad, Haunted Love, just to name a few.  A lot of their really good books did not seem to last very long, despite the great writing and very talented artists.  Such as that little-known artist back in the day by the name of John Byrne...

Now, comic fans of today immediately recognize the name John Byrne.  But back when Doomsday +1 came out from Charlton, Byrne was not the household name that it is today.  And while his art today certain has become more refined, this 12-issue series definitely showcases the talent he was, even back at the start of his career.  Some research online reveals that Byrne had not done a lot of work prior to this Charlton book, but he definitely went on to do some great thing after (including some work on a number of other Charlton books, such as Emergency!, The Flintstones, Space: 1999, Valley of the Dinosaurs, among others).  When I first picked up this series, I did not even know Byrne was the artist of the book - but when I opened to that first page, I could tell right away it was him.  The man definitely has a distinctive style all his own!

Doomsday +1 was co-created by Byrne and writer Joe Gill.  The story is an apocalyptic tale of the planet Earth after the nuclear missiles are launched and devastate the planet with their destructive force and radioactive fallout.  First published in 1975-76 (***more on that later), the story opens on April 7, 1996 (which, coincidentally enough, was my mom's 56th birthday!) as three astronauts prepare to head into space on an important mission:  Captain Boyd Ellis of the U.S. Air Force; NASA scientist and radiation expert Jill Malden (who also happens to be Boyd's fiance!); and Ikei Yasida, a young Japenese scientist.  As the three begin their mission in orbit around the world, they are unaware that a dictator in an underdeveloped country (conveniently not named) has decided that if he cannot be ruler, then no one will be - and he launches two nuclear missiles - one hits Moscow and the other New York City!  Russia and the United States act without thinking, believing the other had initiated the attack, and they retaliate.  Before you know it, Rome ... Paris ... London ... Berlin ... the entire world is gone, destroyed by man's own hand!!  And that's all just within the first six pages!  Can you imagine what the rest of that first issue holds in store for the reader?!

Gill and Byrne slow the story down a bit here, as Boyd, Jill, and Ikei remain in space as long as their rations hold out (the length of time is not stated, only that an indeterminate amount of time had passed), but eventually they have to return to Earth.  They manage to land their spacecraft in Greenland, in the hopes that the radiation levels will have dissipated from that area faster than others. It is there they begin to discover the changes to the world when not only do they find a perfectly preserved wooly mammoth, frozen in the ice glaciers - but they come face to face with a live one!  And that's not all - they also meet a primitive man by the name of Kuno who speaks an ancient Germanic tongue and who quickly becomes a member of the group, bringing the total number of survivors of this nuclear holocaust to four!  After another indeterminate time passes, the four find a ship and set sale for Canada, where they hope to find an airbase and perhaps other survivors.  The first issue ends with their arrival at the Canadian airbase - but only after they are attacked by a fighter plane, whose pilot is a mystery!

The remaining five issues in this series take a more sci-fi turn to them, as the four survivors face down an army of robots led by a man-turned-cyborg, alien being sent to cleanse the Earth, undersea creatures fighting a civil war, a group of military men who threaten the four survivors' existence, and finally, a civilization from an alternate reality who use others as their slaves in their own so-called utopia.  The stories are very fantastic in nature, and being written in the 1970s, it shouldn't be much of a surprise that the creators viewed 1996 as such a "far-flung future."  A seventh issue was actually written and drawn by Byrne, but it was not published in this series (although it did appear later on in a two-part tale in a Charlton fan magazine). That seventh story would have dealt with a time-traveler who came back in time to revisit Earth during this period, and it certainly would have prompted some interesting ideas had the series continued. This sixth and final issue of new stories was published in 1976 - but two years later, the series returned with issue seven, which sported the same cover as issue one, albeit with different coloring.  Inside was a reprint of that first issue from back in 1975!  Issues eight through twelves republished the stories originally printed in issues two through six, some sporting new covers (utilizing scenes of interior art), while others had reprints of the original covers with differently colored art.  I don't really know why they reprinted the series with the continued numbering, but it apparently did not pick up enough interest to continue the series, as it once again ended with that sixth story, issue twelve being the final issue printed.  Research reveals that Tom Sutton did write and draw and 15-page story that was intended to run as issue 13, but since sales dwindled, that issue never saw print.  (NOTE - apparently Fantagraphic Books re-published the six-issue series, along with the seventh story, in a mini-series re-titled The Doomsday Squad, from 1986-87.)

Flash forward 34 years (yes, 34 years!!!!), and John Byrne, one of the original co-creators of the series, decided to take another stab at the concept.  Indy publisher IDW provided him the opportunity, and Doomsday.1 was published with a cover date of May 2013 (which was, literally, 34 years after the cover date of the issue 12 of the original Charlton series, which was May 1979).  This new series was not a continuation or a retelling of Doomsday +1, but rather, a re-imagining of the series.  This time, the survivors are men and women aboard a space station when a giant solar flare hits the Earth, causing planet-wide devastation.  The story is much less science-fiction and instead a much darker reality-based tale of what the world would face after a doomsday event like this.  The storytelling style is also much different - what only took 6 pages in the first issue of the original series to tell takes Byrne the entire first issue to tell (which only strengthens my argument that today's comics are more focused on large panels of art and slower story-telling methods for purposes of stretching out stories over a certain number of issues to fit into a trade paperback for bookstore shelves...).  The remaining three issues of this series (it's only four-issue mini-series, although it ends with an open door for more stories in the future if Byrne ever wanted to re-visit the idea) follow the group of survivors from the space station who come back planet-side and find other people who managed to survivor the solar devastation.  They begin picking up the pieces, much in the vein of Kirkman's The Walking Dead series, they try to rebuild a community and fight off other factions who think they should be in control of this new world order.  Some of the characters die along the way, but honestly, I didn't get the real sense of character development in this series as I did with Boyd, Jill, Ikei, and Kuno in the original series.  I wish Byrne had taken this chance to tell a sequel - either with these four characters years later, or even with the offspring of these characters decades letter in a world still reeling from the nuclear destruction.  But, alas, since it was his creation in the first place, he did what he wanted to with it.

Clearly, Doomsday +1 is a series/title that just doesn't seem to die.  From its original run, to its republished run two years later, to its reprint series in the next decade, to a re-imagining some thirty years later - Byrne clearly has a creation that resonates with readers.  Let's face it - there are tons of apocalyptic comic stories out there, but few are truly as character-driven, yet as fantastic and fun to read as the Charlton series.  This is definitely a title worth picking up if you find it!

RATING:  9 E-Man Lives! Wall Posters out of 10 for showcasing just how talented John Byrne is, from nearly 50 years ago to today!

The Pardy Boys and Nancy Screw Adventure Series - Adult Parodies of the Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew Mystery Stories

I'm always up for a good parody - especially if the books parody some of my favorite childhood series books.  Over the years, there have been plenty of parodies of the Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys books - from books, to magazines, to comics, to stage plays, to burleque - you name it, and there is pretty much a sure bet that someone somewhere has created a parody of Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys for that market.  From Nancy Clue to Susan Slutt to Nancy Keene, to "Confessions of a Teen Sleuth," to the Hardly Boys to the Hearty Boys, and so many more.  Some of them are funny, some of them are mildly amusing, and some of them are just okay.  But of all the ones I've read to date, I don't think any of them are as outright raunchy as the Pardy Boys and Nancy Screw books by "Whit Slorp" (an obvious pseudonym if I've ever seen one!) - and, sadly, not funny at all.

Peenocchio and the Wooden Circus Plot is "The Pardy Boys Gay Adventure Series" parody.  Obviously, from the title, it's pretty apparent the story is going to be sexual in nature.  I knew that going in (no pun intended!).  However, I had half-hoped there would be some kind of funny mystery or at least some great jokes that made fun of the clean-cut Frank and Joe Hardy.  Instead, the author basically provides a gay Pinocchio tale with tons of explicit sex scenes and very little of Brian and Joah Pardy (i.e. "Frank" and "Joe" Hardy).  The two step-brothers are more or less side-characters in their own story.  Sure, they are trying to help free Peenocchio from the grasp of the Vincenzo, the owner of a gay dance club who wants Peen to be his wooden dancer for the patrons, but the gist of the story is that Peen is wanting to become a real man so that he can better please his boyfriend, Gepetto, who created him out of his fetish with wooden dolls (don't ask!).  And the story is so focused on getting from one sex scene to the next, that the author can't even get his characters straight when writing non-sex scenes - for example, on page 27, Joah is trying various keys to unlock Peen's cage, but in the next paragraph, it is Brian who is trying to unlock the cage, then in the next, we're back to Joah.  Very sloppy writing and editing (although, let's face it, what can we expect from a basic porn story???).  Very, VERY disappointed with this one.  

 

Oh, and lest I forget, this book has some internal illustrations (I'm guessing as an homage to the internals of the original Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys books back in the day), and they are not horribly drawn - certainly better than those "stick figure" drawings in the later years of the Nancy Drew books.  But as the story devolves into pure debauchery, the author (who also provides the drawings) ends up drawing a scene from one of the most depraved and grotesque parts of the story, and all I could do was shake my head when I saw it...

The Hidden Valley Ranch of Studs Mystery, which is "The Nancy Screw Adult Adventure Series" parody, is a few steps above the Pardy Boys - but not much.  At least in this short story, there is an actual mystery for Nancy to solve - and Nancy actually plays a role in the story, she is not simply a side character.  Nancy visits a tarot reader and receives a strange prediction that she can't seem to shake.  When she stumbles upon a woman wandering around the dark woods that everyone is warned to stay away from, she begins to suspect something is up.  Following her instincts, she follows the woman and discovers a burned down farm and a silo from which a young woman is being held prisoner!  SPOILER ALERT!!!!  It turns out the young woman is an orphan, her father having died in a crazy sexual incident at a male whorehouse called "The Hidden Valley Ranch of Studs," and the owner of the ranch took the baby from the mother (who she deemed to be out-of-her-mind) and hid her away to protect her.  Of course, it turns out the young woman is actually a man who wants to be a woman.  In any event, it is Nancy Screw who follows up on the clues she finds in the burned down farm, interrogating the owner of the Ranch, and taking the tarot reading seriously in order to free the kidnapped girl and uncover exactly what happened all those years ago when the girl's parents - the very pregnant mother dressed as Tinkerbell and her father dressed as Wendy - filmed an unbelievable encounter with a hired male escort they had dressed up as Peter Pan that ended tragically for Wendy and Peter....  And, oddly enough, that is exactly where the author chooses to end the book - with Nancy watching the end of the video ...

As with the Pardy Boys book, the Nancy Screw book seems to lack any real editing.  On page 12, when Nancy comes out from having her fortune told, her friends Hannah, Adam, and Derek are waiting for her.  But when Adam talks to her about the reading, suddenly an "Erica" pops in with comments about alleged psychic readings.  Who the heck is Erica and where did she come from?  At least the author tones down on the whole sex thing with this parody and focuses more on an actual story - which, honestly, if you take away the sex and the horrible names, the underlying plot itself would have made for a somewhat interesting Nancy Drew mystery - young child is taken away from her parents after a tragic accident; the captor keeps the child hidden away deep in the woods to keep her safe from the outside world; the woods in which the child is hidden are alleged to be haunted, so everyone stays away from them; Nancy happens upon someone going into the woods, and after a strange tarot reading, she decides to investigate.  

 

Oddly, the Nancy Screw story had no internal illustrations like the Pardy Boys did.  The Nancy Screw story is also 30 pages shorter than the Pardy Boys book.  Not sure if these were written at the same time, or if one was written before the other and that prompted the differences.  

Would I recommend these to anyone?  To read, definitely not.  They are not worth the read at all.  However, for collectors who want anything and everything Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys, then these might be something to buy and simply stick on the shelf next to any other parodies you might have and then let them collect dust, because honestly - that's about all they are good for!

RATING:  2 marshmallows speared on long thin sticks out of 10 simply for being a parody of Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys - because, really, there's not much else that I could say to support these books.

The Dark Deception - the second Daphne & Velma Mystery

Those meddling kids are back in a second mystery starring the two ladies of the group - Daphne Blake and Velma Dinkley!  In the first book by author Josephine Ruby, Daphne and Velma had to work their way through their own personal issues to help out a friend who had vanished - and in doing so, they uncovered a number of their hometown's secrets.  But, as this second book shows, there are still many more secrets left to discover!  The last page of the previous book found Daphne and Velma receiving a cryptic message from the friend they had just saved - all it said was that Shaggy Rogers needed their help!  But what was his problem, and how could they help him?  Well, as this second book opens, that is what the two teen detectives are set to find out!

The Dark Deception is written by Morgan Baden, and honestly, it is clear that Baden has a better feel for the characters than Ruby did.  That is not to say Ruby did a bad job or anything - I actually enjoyed that first book.  But with this one, as I was reading the story, I could clearly hear in my head the voices of Daphne, Velma, Shaggy, and even Fred (in the few instances where he appears).  No voice for Scooby, though, since these novels are set in the "real" world, and here, Scooby is just a typical dog.  The story opens not long after the end of the first book, and Velma and Daphne are tailing Shaggy, trying to figure out just how they are supposed to help him.  Shaggy is not one to just open up to others, and neither Velma nor Daphne know of any problems he has or trouble in which he may have found himself.  He still seems his normal self.  But the events of this day are about to change all of that...

Shaggy enters the jewelry store downtown, but never comes out.  When Velma and Daphne go in to find him, he is gone - and the owner of the store claims she never saw him!  The girls know the owners' daughter, who goes to school with them and is considered an outsider; but she seems to have taken a liking to Shaggy.  Before they can investigate further, however, the whole town is in an uproar, headed for the beach.  With some reluctance, Velma and Daphne head down there as well, where they are shocked to discover hundreds of jewels washing up to shore - diamonds, rubies, emeralds - every jewel imaginable!  The citizens of Crystal Cove believe they have struck it rich!  But Velma suspects something else is going on, as does Shaggy's mom, who happens to be the town sheriff.  And then there is the new reporter for the Crystal Cove Howler, Ramsay Hansen - a very good-looking, intelligent college student who Daphne just so happens to be crushing on!  Daphne is interning at the Howler, and she has been paired up to work with Ram.  But Ram seems less interested in getting to the facts of the story and more interested in stirring up headlines when he questions the Sheriff about whether these jewels are just another part of the town's curse!

Baden provides readers with a great mystery that incorporates a lot of spooky elements that fans of Scooby Doo have some to love over the years.  Creepy old houses, hidden passages, dark caves, haunted amusement parks, dark curses, and ancient legends.  Although it takes Velma and Daphne quite a bit of work to get to it, readers finally discover some of what is troubling Shaggy - but the big question is whether they will truly be able to help him, or if their desire to get to the truth about the jewels that washed up on shore will ultimately destroy Shaggy's family!  And when the infamous Crystal Cove Crystal is stolen from Shaggy's family home, it's up to Velma and Daphne to track it down - even if that means coming face to face with the Lady Vampire of the Bay!

I'm enjoying seeing the Scooby gang portrayed in a "real" way - with families, issues, secrets, and even the real-world trials and tribulations of school, homework, and deadlines.  A third book was solicited on Amazon, Buried Secrets, which was supposed to be released on June 1, 2021 - however, it was never released, and there doesn't seem to be any word on when it will come out.  Not sure what's up with that, but it will be very disappointing if they leave this story unresolved.  

One final note - the author, Morgan Baden, happens to be the wife of Barry Lyga, who has done an outstanding job with the Flash TV series tie-in books for young adults.  So, it's no surprise to me that this Daphne and Velma book is so well-written.  This husband/wife team certainly know how to write!

RATING:  9 facon, egg, cheese, and pickle sandwiches out of 10 for honoring the Scooby Doo gang with a fantastic tale of mystery, suspense, and spooky curses and legends!