The Complete Velda, Girl Detective (True Crime Comics) - Volume 2

I must admit, the first volume of Velda, Girl Detective was not at all what I was expecting, but it was so much fun, I was glad to finally get the chance to sit down with Volume 2 and enjoy some more stories of this faux female detective of the 1950s. For those who don't know (and that's probably most!), Velda, Girl Detective is the creation of Ron Miller, with assist from Walter Mucilage, and is a parody of sorts of the pulp comics from back in the 1950s - where female protagonists were fierce, but at the same time, sexy and quite often scantily clad (if they were clad at all!).  Miller and Mucilage present these volumes as if they are collections of the "original" comics from back in the day, even including photographs of the alleged real Velda Bellinghausen, as if she had been a real-life female detective upon whom the comics were based. They are very tongue-in-cheek, and sometimes the advertisements and one or two-page short stories are very often so humorous, they are more fun to read than the Velda stories!

Volume 2 features three issues of Velda's comics - 3, 4, and 5, presented in their alleged entirety, complete with advertisements and short stories of Neolithica, Girl of the Pleistocene and Hawkshaw the Hawk, the World's Greatest Bird Detective. Velda's adventures include a treasure hunt to find stolen coins; a trip to New Jersey as winner of the Miss Methylated Seed Oil contest of 1954, faces the Curse of Mwawebe-Tutu, goes to the circus, goes to Hollywood, goes out west to help her uncle, deals with Murder on a Shoestring, and in the last story, goes so far as to play chicken! There is even a prose one-page "Minute Mystery" that gives the opportunity for the reader to solve the mystery based on the clues in the short tale - but the solution for this one ... well, I'm not going to spoil the fun for anyone - let's just say it is solved in true Velda style!

As with the '50s pulp stories, the art always portrays Velda in the sexiest of poses, and often she is forced to remove her clothes (but the panels are drawn in such a way to hide the pertinent parts). The background comes and goes, with some panels featuring no background whatsoever, while others feature such great detail, you feel drawn into the setting. Velda, with her short, dark bob and her trim figure, stays consistent throughout the stories, and the artist does manage to give her some great expressions (especially when she smirks or she is deep in thought.

I think my favorite story in this collection, though, has to be "Velda Goes West," in which she travel out to New Mexico to help her uncle, who has invested in a ranch out there. It seems that there are a number of unexplained accidents happening on the ranch, and he is losing reservations left and right - to the point where he may be forced to sell the ranch! Sound familiar?  (a la Shadow Ranch, from the Nancy Drew Mystery Stories?) Of course, Velda agrees to help him find the source of these accidents, and find them she does - villainous cretins who want the property to mine for the molybdenum underneath the ranch!  What is molybdenum you ask?  Well, surprisingly, it is not a made up name!  Molybdenum is an actual chemical element (Mo / atomic number 42). It does not occur naturally as a free metal, however; it is only found in various oxidation states in minerals. The free element, a silvery metal with a gray cast, has the sixth-highest melting point of any element and readily forms hard, stable carbides in alloys - used in steel alloys, including high-strength alloys and superalloys. (And if you are wondering, I found that info on the internet!).  So, see! Velda may be a parody and may be crazy to the point of silly sometimes, but it still holds a kernel of reality.

Now for those ads.  Oh, those ads!  From the very first one, an ad for polio prevention, warning people to "Don't Play with Foreigners!" and "Don't Be Sexually Precocious" and "Don't Swim in the Winter" and "Do Keep Your Bunny Clean!" to the ad for Whiz-O, the breakfast of whizzes, which features the young fellows of Camp Beaver - who are watching Swifty race at a track meet - "What sleek hairless thighs!" and "Check out Swifty's tight butt, too!" and "What a swell manly chest!" and "Wish I could get in those shorts!"  Miller and Mucilage poke fun at so many of those oh-so-innocent at the time ads from the '50s and twist them into humorous, irreverent, and sometimes demented parodies!  As I said above, they are just as enjoyable to read as the stories themselves (and make sure to read some of the fine print in those "ads" - trust me, you won't want to miss a thing!).

RATING:  10 elephant-sized hotels out of 10 for fun, exploitative, mocking, detective tales with a bit of actual murder mystery added in to keep the stories interesting!