The Prescient Wisdom of Nancy Drew

The word "prescient" is defined at www.dictionary.com as "having knowledge of things or events before they exist or happen; having foresight."  Thus, the title of this book leads one to assume that the book will be about the uncanny ability of that famous teen girl detective to anticipate things and figure things out before they actually are revealed.  I mean, after all, the name "Nancy Drew" in the title of the book is the sole reason I bought the book.  As an avid collector of Nancy Drew (among other children's mystery series), if her name pops up in a title of a book, I'm pretty apt to buy it.  This was no exception.  But I will honestly say, nothing - and I do mean NOTHING - could have possibly prepared me for the story I was going to read!

The Prescient Wisdom of Nancy Drew is probably - no, is DEFINITELY - the oddest, weirdest, strangest, most unusual book I have ever read.  In fact, all of those words combined really do not do this book justice.  Now, don't get me wrong.  Just because this book is so ... unique, shall I say ... it does not make it a bad book.  Far from it.  If you can get past the opening chapters, which are rather dense and leave the reader with a bit of uncertainty as to the direction of the book, then you will find yourself in for one heck of a wild ride!  This book has everything from aliens to talking dogs to invisible coyotes to giant boys to glowing orbs of light to all-powerful stones ... well, you get the idea.  And to think, it all starts with a little dog being sent up inside a rocket from Russia....

Set in the final months of 1957, the story opens in Russia where a young dog by the name of Laika is getting ready to be launched into space on a rocket by the name of Sputnik II.  The scientist who has been working with the dog, one Sergei Berezin, had recently come to have his daughter in his custody after the young girl's mother died and she had nowhere else to go.  Unsure what to do with her, he allowed her to stay in his apartment home, and for a brief while, she was able to share the apartment with Laika.  But her father warned her not to become attached.  So, when he took the dog away so it could be sent up into space, to orbit around the Earth, his daughter, Kisa, found herself missing the dog.  But that's okay, because she has found a stone down by the river that talks to her.  Now, you may be asking yourself at this point - what in the world does this have to do with Nancy Drew???  Well, be warned - the author, Rhyscary Wade, specifically indicates in the synopsis on the back of the book that you won't find out until the very end where Nancy Drew comes into the story!  And he's not kidding!

Well, some unexpected events transpire that lead Sergei, Kisa, and her school teacher, Pytor Glinka, to be kidnapped, reunited, and taken - well, let's just say they get taken.  Meanwhile, half a world away, in an airport in the United States, a family waits for the plane that will take them on the first leg of their journey to London.  Lars Angstrom is a university profession with a penchant for getting himself into trouble with his female students.  By now, his wife has become used to their suddenly being forced to move away when he gets fired from one university after another.  His three daughters - Stormy, Bubbles, and Molly (self-given nicknames, not their real names, by the way) - just go with the flow.  Bubbles is oblivious to her rather suddenly enlarged endowments; Molly is rough and tough, but she is learning as she gets older how to use her feminine wiles; and Stormy - well, Stormy is frustrated that she looks younger than her two sisters, even though she is the oldest!  What none of them realize is that one of the other passengers is on a very deadly mission to assassinate Lars!  Nor that the doctor on board, who looks way too young to be a doctor, has seen things that no human should ever see.  Nor that another passenger was sent on the plane to watch out for something.  Nor that Lars has a very special stone in his pocket that has the same wonderful properties as Kisa's stone...

So, what do you think happens when the plane, mid-flight, is suddenly surrounded by orbs of light that circle the plane, attach to the plane, fly in front of and behind the plane?  And worse, what happens when passengers start to disappear?  Or, at least, they seem to ... because Molly and Bubbles can still see everyone, but no one can see them, and apparently, the passengers and crew can't seem to see each other.  And where in the world did Stormy and the doctor go?  And how in the world is this flight connected to the Russian scientist, his little daughter, and the dog that presumably died in Sputnik II?  So many questions!  Yet, Wade does indeed answer them, although not necessarily in the expected or usual way!  The story will startle you, surprise you, and have you laughing out loud - and before the end, you will find yourself caring for the characters, even if you don't want to.  There are some deaths in the book, some changes in relationships, some new beginnings, some endings, and a fun-filled romp through *******land (yeah, you didn't really think I was going to spoil THAT one, did you?).  All I can really say about this book is - expect the unexpected!!!

Now, if you are thinking that there is absolutely no mention of Nancy Drew until that very last page, let me set your mind at rest.  Wade isn't that cruel.  There are three references within the story itself:

"Though genial, bright, and friendly, at heart Bubbles was a serious pensive girl who always had her nose in a book, even if that book was the latest in a series of young adult mysteries.  Nancy Drew had had her way with all the Angstrom girls, and Bubbles was no exception" (p. 68).

"Seven years of Nancy Drew had taught her loads about interrogation" (p. 106).

"Then, though he knew it was ridiculous, he looked under the seat, where he found Nancy Drew's Clue of the Velvet Mask, but nothing in the way of blonde teenagers" (p. 139).

While these three quotes may not seem much in and of themselves, trust me - they make perfect sense in the context of the story.  And as for that ending?  Well, Wade certainly was telling the truth, as the last line of the book is the entire reason for the title.  But don't cheat and ruin it for yourself - making your way through the story is the whole fun of it all!

I didn't really know what to think when I bought the book (as I bought it simply because it had Nancy Drew in the title), and my head is still spinning somewhat from everything I read - but I would certainly recommend it for some great, out-of-this-world kind of fun you won't read anywhere else.  (Although, this book is apparently book 6 of Wade's UFO Sex Comedy series of books, so perhaps if you read some of the other books, you might find more of this kind of fun - who knows?)

RATING:  10 wild goose chases out of 10 for being the most unusual, unique, crazy, out-of-this-world book that I have ever and probably will ever read in my life!