The Complete Velda, Girl Detective (True Crime Comics) - Volume 3

Well, it is finally time to sit down and take one last trip into the wacky world of Velda Bellinghausen, that pulp-favorite female P.I. from back in the day ... oh, wait, no.  That's not right.  Velda, Girl Detective never existed back in the day!  She's simply the creation of Ron Miller (with an assist from Walter Mucilage) as a way to honor, as well as parody, the old pulp-style comics and detective stories from yester-year.  And they do such an amazingly great job at it, one might pick this up and very well think it is reprinting stories from back in the '50s.  Until you actually start reading the stories...and looking at the ads... and then you realize this is all one big hoax meant to thrill and titillate comic readers with some fun (and I do mean FUN) stories about a girl detective who will do just about ANYTHING to solve a crime!

 

Velda, Girl Detective Volume 3 finishes up this collection of "could-have-been" comics, featuring issues 6, 7, and 8 of  the series that never was.  And it even goes so far as to play up on the Seduction of the Innocent fiasco back in the '50s when Dr. Frederick Wertham set about to expose the atrocities of comic books back in the day in the hopes of making them more wholesome for children to read, giving a bit of exposition about the final issue of this faux series, claiming the final issue (no. 8) was cancelled when proof sheets of the initial story for that issue were "leaked to the press."  Of course, the issue is presented here, and when you get a gander at that opening (and only!) story for that issue, you'll probably think that Wertham would have had a heart attack had this been a real comic back in the day!  I'm not going to spoil it by telling you what it is, but I will say it is a hilarious little jaunt into the countryside where Velda is able to enjoy nature while solving a crime!

We are treated to more ridiculously fun stories in this final collection, from Velda helping her Uncle Einar uncover a counterfeiter (using a pitchfork as a slingshot while completely naked - you've gotta see it to believe it!) to fighting a crooked D.A. for the life of an innocent man (where health food and yoga really do save the day!) to foiling the plans of Russian spies (a day at the beach, indeed!) to finding the culprit who has been stealing jewels and other sundry items from the guests at a nudist camp (and yes, poor Velda must do what she has to in order to blend in!), along with a few other silly tales.  As usual, the stories are short, over-the-top, and completely crazy - but they are the perfect parody of the pulp tales from decades long gone.

And just to perpetuate the idea that these were real comics back in the day, we get a Velda crossword puzzle, Velda paper dolls with outfits and accessories, along with a several page ad for a Velda board game, right along with faux ads for novelty toys, magic gimmicks, toy soldiers (of the Crimean War!), weight gain, toy guns, fun books for boys and girls, and so much more!  Miller provides introductions to each "issue," sharing with readers some background on the issue, as well as photos of the "real" Velda Bellinghausen on which the comic is supposed to be based.  And, as with the prior collections, included are the back-up stories of "Neolithica, Girl of the Pleistocene" and "Hawkshaw the Hawk, the World's Greatest Bird Detective."  These are definitely presented more for humor than anything else, and as a bonus, Miller "reprints" the first and only issue of Neolithica, Girl of the Pleistocene comic that was ever (not!) published. For those who love her short stories in each issue of Velda, then you're bound to love her expended six-page story in her own book!!  (Sigh - if only any of this had actually been real - I would work overtime to go back and try to find the real issues!)

The quip on the back of this collection pretty much describes these books perfectly:  "Velda: Girl Detective is an affectionate parody of the crime comics that proliferated during the 1950s. Inspired by a character in his novel and short stories about a burlesque queen turned private eye.  Ron Miller emulates the style of the most lurid of those classic comics...down to the letter columns and ads."  If you love comics and you love the old pulp stories, and if you like strong female leads and you like good, old-fashioned fun, the Velda, Girl Detective is DEFINITELY a book you need to pick up!  You won't be disappointed!

RATING:  10 raccoon skin hats without the tail out of 10 for keeping comics fun, for poking fun at the past, and for providing the comic world with another strong female character who deserved many, MANY more stories than these!