Love in the Afternoon - the wild novel of a soap opera superstar!

Sometimes you come across some of the best books when you are not really looking for them.  Such is the case with this book.  I was combing through the paperbacks at the Family Bookstore in DeLand, when, as I reached the end of the section, my eyes glanced over the title to this book and had to take a second look.  The slogan "Love in the Afternoon" was used by ABC to market its soap operas for a decade, from the mid-1970s to the mid-1980s - advertisements with a catchy theme, giving clips of the various soap operas in ABC's line-up - Ryan's Hope, Edge of Night, All My Children, One Life to Life, and General Hospital.  (It should be noted that NBC had used that same slogan to market their soaps in 1974, but gave up on it rather quickly, which is when ABC decided to take the banner for their channel.)  Because of this, the phrase "Love in the Afternoon" pretty much became synonymous with soap operas.  So, when I caught the title to this book, I figured it would have to be about soaps - and sure enough, it was!  Therefore, I shelled out the couple of bucks and bought it.

 

Love in the Afternoon gives two taglines on its cover: "Daytime TV will never be the same!" and "The wild, brilliantly hilarious novel of the on- and off-camera lives and loves of a soap-opera superstar."  Written by Ed Zimmermann, the book was originally published in hardcover in 1971, and the Pocket Books paperback came out two years later - and both came out before either NBC or ABC ever began their ad campaigns using that slogan!  Leads one to wonder if this book may have prompted the use of the phrase by NBC and ABC.  In any event, it turns out Ed Zimmermann, the author, was actually a soap opera actor himself, having played the role of Dr. Joseph Werner (the second actor to play the role) on the CBS soap, Guiding Light from 1967 to 1972.  He was only 39 years old when he died of a heart attack on July 6, 1972 (just a year after this book was first published).  He was also a stage actor, and he was in Ogunquit, Maine auditioning for a part in "Who Killed Santa Claus?" when he died.  He only authored this one book.  A huge Guiding Light fan, on her blog, indicates this book is based upon the behind the scenes experiences of Zimmermann while working on the soap.

 

The book tells the story of actor Steven Prince (which, to me, feels like a cross between Steve Trevor and Diana Prince from the Wonder Woman comics!), who takes a role on a television daytime drama, playing Dr. Harlan Cross on a soap opera that centers around Pinewood Hospital.  After acting on Broadway, making the transition from stage to the small screen is quite an experience for Prince.  For an actor used to months of rehearsals to a show where you get only hours of rehearsals before filming live - one can't even begin to imagine; however, Zimmermann does his best to provide the reader with just how much stress that can cause an actor new to daytime TV.  From being handed the first script, to meeting his co-workers, to learning where everything is in the production building - it is basically like being thrown into the water and being told, "Go ahead, now, and swim!" He even provides a schedule that Prince is given his first day on the set (from page 24):

8:00 - 10:00 - Dry for Blocking (First Rehearsal)

8:00 - 10:00 - Makeuip and Costume

10:00 - 10:30 - No Fax (Blocking on Set with No Cameras)

10:30 - 11:00 - Camera Conference

11:00 -12:00 - Fax 1 (Blocking with Cameras and Boom)

12:00 - 1:00 - Break

1:00 - 1:30 - Fax 2 (Run Through)

1:30 - 2:00 - Break and Film Check

2:00 - 2:30 - Dress

2:30 - 3:00 - Break

3:00 - AIR

I look at that schedule and realize just how tight it really is and how little time the actors have to get it right.  I've heard actors from Dark Shadows talk about how fast-paced daytime television is, and their experiences pretty much line up with what Zimmermann shares here.  It's evident he took his own experiences on the set of Guiding Light and integrated them into this story.  With frazzled nerves, Prince manages to make it through his first day, and as the days turn into weeks, he begins to enjoy playing the villain everyone loves to hate.  And his interaction with the cast is bound to have come from his real-life interactions - some actors who are laid back; others who demand attention; still others who rarely know their lines to those who make everyone else's life a disaster.   There is even the behind the scene attempts to seduce co-stars - thankfully, though, Zimmermann keeps his main character faithful to his real-life wife, for which I was happy to see.

 

One of the interesting tidbits I enjoyed in the book was how fans of Prince's on-screen character, Harlan Cross, could not see to separate the actor from his role.  Even his own mother was questioning his motives on the show, and Prince eventually gives up trying to convince her that he is not the character.  I have heard actors talk about these types of scenarios before (at General Hospital fan fests, several actors have talked about being berated by fans for the actions of their characters, as if they were the actual character), so reading about it in this book was not really much of a surprise. It makes me wonder if Zimmermann faced this same problem with his role on Guiding Light.  

 

Then there is the change in writers, which brings about major changes in the show - and for Prince, this results in his bad-boy doctor being redeemed and turned into a caring man searching for a real relationship, rather than breaking up all those around him.  Prince is not happy about the shift, but since it is his job, he must work with it.  Oh, and I loved the way the production had to accommodate Prince when he accidentally fractures his ankle - so they have to create work-arounds for all of his scenes.  The operating table is lowered so he can film the scene sitting down (but the cameras are angled to make it appear everyone is standing), and a body double is used when "Harlan" has to break down a door and rush into a room.  I can't tell you how many times I've seen actors in soaps with casts or crutches because they have injured themselves in real life, so the writers have to write that injury into the show somehow.  So, again, reading about this scenario feels like par for the course for a soap opera.

 

From what I have been able to gather online, the book apparently has a number of parallels with the Guiding Light, when it comes to characters and situations.  Having never watched that show, I cannot confirm such likenesses; however, I can say that much of what takes place behind the scenes in this story lines up with many stories I have heard from soap opera actors over the years.  I think it great that Zimmermann took his experiences and turned it into a comical story for fans to read.

 

One final observation is the opening paragraph to Chapter Eight.  Zimmermann discusses how soap opera writers have fun with time - "moulding it and stretching it and playing with it as if it were so much silly putty" (p. 156).  An entire season can pass by in just a few days, or weeks can be stretched out into months.  And yet, despite this stretching and contracting of time, all of the holidays still manage to show up at the correct time!  My friends and I have all made this observation about soap operas for years!  Passions, which ran on NBC from 1999 to 2007, was very bad about this.  One day on that show would sometimes last more than a month!  Thus, it was definitely appropriate for Zimmermann to make mention of this in the book, since any real soap fan would recognize this as a reality of daytime television!

 

Interestingly, the copyright page actually gives credit to the cover artist (which so few books from this era ever did!).  Lou Marchetti was well-known for his cover art for paperback books, but he also provided art for movie posters and magazines, such as Galaxy and Reader's Digest.  The cover gives us a scene with Prince and a fellow actress on what appears to be a crimson bedspread, with plenty of cameras and lights surrounding them.  More information can be found about Marchetti at the website run by his daughter, Louise (The Life and Art of Lou Marchetti).

 

While not exactly "brilliantly hilarious" as advertised on the cover, I would say the book does have some laughs and is a pretty good read - especially for anyone who enjoys soap operas!

 

RATING: 8 ankle-crunching slides into home plate out of 10 for a somewhat satirical look into what goes on behind the scenes of your favorite daytime drama! 

Torchy Blane - The Lady Bloodhound with a Nose for News!

Now for something a little different.  While this blog has always been about books (as well as comics and graphic novels), this is one post that I just felt I had to make, even though the topic isn't something I read.  Rather, this post is about a series of nine films put out by Warner Brothers Pictures between the years 1937 and 1939.  The title character of these films, "Torchy" Blane, is a wise-cracking female reporter who always manages to stay two steps ahead of her police detective fiance, Steve McBride, in solving crimes.  I had never heard of this character or the films, but back in January, TCM was showcasing films that featured female detectives every Friday night - and, as fate would have it, on Friday the 13th, TCM featured five of the nine Torchy Blane films.  David recorded them for me, thinking I might enjoy them, so I figured if he took the trouble to record them, the least I could do is watch them.  Boy, was I in for a huge surprise!  By the end of the first film, I was completely hooked, and I set about finding a way to watch the remaining films in the series.  I tracked down a Warner Brothers Archive Collection of all nine films and bought it without hesitation.  And now that I've finally been able to see all nine films, I can share my thoughts with the rest of the world (or, well, the few people who actually do read my blog!).

 

Smart Blonde is the first film, and it introduces the little firecracker known as Torchy Blane (her real name is Theresa, but that is not revealed until the second movie and only said twice in the entire nine films!).  The plot centers around Torchy witnessing the murder of a man she just interviewed - a man who was set to buy a Club and all of the gambling enterprises of one Fitz Mularkey.  Torchy's boyfriend, Steve McBride, is assigned to the case, and although he tries to keep Torchy out of the way, she manages to insinuate herself into every situation, ultimately exposing the true masterminds behind the murder!  The movie, released in 1937, is subtitled "The Adventures of Torchy Blane," and definitely establishes Glenda Farrell as Torchy, alongside Barton MacLane as police detective McBride.  The two actors have a natural chemistry that explodes on screen, keeping the comedic dialogue real and believable!

 

Farrell returned as Torchy in the second film, Fly Away Baby, which also used "The Adventures of Torchy Blane" subtitle (and was the last of the films to do so).  This movie featured more action than the previous one, as Torchy inserts herself into a contest with a competing newspaper reporter to fly around the globe!  After a jeweler is found murdered and his collection of diamonds stolen, Torchy's fiance McBride is on the case.  Torchy tags along, and soon comes to suspect the other reporter of the crime! Thus, she convinces her editor to let her race the reporter around the world, hoping she can find the evidence to prove him guilty!  Along the way, though, she uncovers the true identity of the killer and locates the stolen diamonds!  Despite being filmed so quickly (the movie was released only five months after the first one!), it was actually very well done, considering the number of action sequences and stunts involved!

With the third film, Torchy Blane's name takes the headline over the title, The Adventurous Blonde, proving the success of this series (which I believe was largely in part to Farrell's superb portrayal of the character).  The story opens with Torchy and a fellow train passenger reading each other's telegrams by mistake.  Torchy learns her fiance has a minister lined up and ready to marry them as soon as she arrives home!  Unfortunately, fate has other plans when four reporters jealous of Torchy's success plan a fake murder that they hope will lead Torchy to publish a false story.  The plan backfires when the actor they hired to "play" dead turns up dead for real, and Torchy scoops them all once again!  Postponing their wedding, Torchy and McBride set about the solve the case, and Torchy uses a fake confession of one of the suspects to lure the real killer into the light!  This film set the stage for the constant postponement of Torchy Blane and Steve McBride's pending nuptials - every time you think they are ready to tie the knot, something gets in the way!  Once again, it was another fast-filmed movie, as this one was released just five months after the second film!

Blondes at Work was the title of the fourth film, and it was Farrell's last appearance as Torchy Blane (well, so she thought).  The story in this movie was a bit different from the previous ones.  The focus of the film is on McBride being told to keep Torchy from getting all the scoops from the department, as they are getting heat from other newspapers that they are playing favorites.  When the son of a department store mogul turns up dead, McBride and Torchy each run their own investigations - and Torchy seems to spend most of her time trying to trick the other papers!  Torchy winds up behind bars herself for revealing the verdict of a jury trial before the jury announces it, and she misses out on the confession of the real killer (but don't worry - McBride does her a favor of calling in the story to her paper, so she still managed to get the scoop from behind bars!).  Released in February 1938, this was probably one of the fastest filmed movies of the series, as it came out only three months after the last one!

Actress Lola Lane takes over the role of Torchy Blane in the fifth film, Torchy Blane in Panama.  Interestingly enough, McBride was also replaced with another actor (Paul Kelly).  The plot involves a bank robbery, where the thief hides out among the Loyal Order of Leopards, of which McBride's inept sidekick on the force, Gahagan, is a member.  Torchy follows the Leopards onto a cruise ship headed for Panama, where she finds the thief but also finds herself kidnapped and held captive by him and his cohorts.  McBride and Gahagan have to track her down and rescue her before it's too late (although Torchy was already planning a way to escape her predicament).  Although the story was pretty good (and pretty standard Torchy fare), Lola Lane just did not have the spunk or spirit that Farrell had, and film did not do well at the box office. Lane and Kelly were out, and Warner Brothers brought back Farrell and MacLane for the next movie.

Torchy Gets Her Man is the last film of the series to come out in 1938, and thankfully brought Farrell and MacLane back into the roles they truly defined.  This time around, Torchy overhears a secret service agent ask the police to help him catch a counterfeiter they believe will be passing phony money at the race track. McBride keeps Torchy in the dark about the sting, but she still manages to learn about it through Gahagan, and she manages to track the counterfeiter to his hideout.  She,of course, gets kidnapped right along with Gahagan, and this time a dog happens to be the one to save the day!  This story was actually a pretty creative one, since the crook turns out to be the very person asking the police for help, and Torchy is the only one who grows suspicious of the man!

The first film in 1939, Torchy Blane in Chinatown, proves the writing for these stories can get craftier and craftier!  The story centers around three former adventurers who brought back some priceless jade tablets from one of their adventures.  They are receiving death threats, and after the first of the men is murdered, and the second one is killed and his body disappears, McBride and his force work overtime to protect the third man.  Torchy uncovers some inconsistencies in the stories and discovers a plot to extort money from a Senator that leads to a rather unique conclusion involving a payoff at sea and a submarine rescue!  I think this is probably one of my favorite of the series, simply because the plot is so intricate and actually makes you think in order to figure out what is really going on!

Farrell and MacLane make their last appearance as Torchy and McBride in the eight installment of this series, Torchy Runs for Mayor.  Torchy is getting a lot of heat for articles she is writing about the mayor, accusing him of colluding with a local crime boss.  The newspapers are warned away from any future stories, and Torchy ends up getting a small publisher to print her story, distributing the paper herself along with Gahagan's help.  When the publisher is murdered, Torchy ends up as a new candidate for major!  Torchy, of course, gets kidnapped once again, and McBride begins to wonder if Torchy's articles didn't hold some truth to them.  It's a race against time as he rushes to rescue his fiance, and the crime boss gets his just deserves when he is blown up by a bomb meant for McBride!  The film has a humorous ending, as Torchy ends up winning the election as mayor, but quickly resigns when she finds out she has to hold babies for photographs!

The final Torchy Blane film was released on Augut 12, 1939, and as with the previous film without Farrell and MacLane, it doesn't hold up well.  Torchy Plays With Dynamite (also known as Torchy Blane ... Playing with Dynamite) features Jane Wyman in the title role, with Allen Jenkins assuming the role of McBride.  While Wyman does an okay job as Torchy, Jenkins is absolutely horrible as McBride.  This last tale involves a series of bank robberies by Denver Eddie, who seems to be able to evade the police at every turn.  Through a series of events, Torchy gets herself thrown in jail so she can cozy up to Denver Eddie's girlfriend and hopefully get the inside scoop on the man.  When she saves Jackie's life, Jackie suggests she and Torchy escape from jail, saying her boyfriend will help them out.  With McBride in on the plan, the girls escape and head to San Francisco.  There is a series of close calls, and Gahagan goes undercover as a wrestler (which results in a few humorous physical scenes).  Ultimately, they catch Denver Eddie, and with the reward money for his capture, McBridge and Torchy have the money they need to get married!

An interesting note about that final film - Jane Wyman, who takes over the role of Torchy Blane, appeared in the very first Torchy flick, Smart Blonde, playing the character Dixie, the hat check girl at the Million Club.  As for the overall series, Tom Kennedy is the only actor to appear in all nine films, in his role as Gahagan, police detective Steve McBride's bumbling sidekick who loves to spout poetry at the most inopportune times.  Actor George Guhl appeared in eight of the nine films as the front desk sergeant, Graves, but for unknown reasons, he was replaced in the last movie (and, in fact, the entire set for that front area of the police headquarters was changed).

Despite the films having different writers, the character of Torchy Blane was pretty consistent throughout (even though when played by Lane and Wyman, she lacked the spunk that Farrell brought to the character).  What I did not realize, until after I researched the movies, is that the first film was based upon a detective stories by Frederick Nebel called MacBride and Kennedy.  Of course, those stories were about two men, and Warner Brothers revised it to make Kennedy a woman and shortened the name of MacBride to McBride.  It's interesting to note that McBride was played by MacLane ("Mac"Bride) and Gahagan was played by Tom "Kennedy," so there are some funny coincidences between the original source material and the actors in the films.

The most surprising thing I discovered was that Superman co-creator Jerry Siegel has been said to have used Farrell's portrayal of Torchy Blane as the inspiration for his character, Lois Lane, and that Lois' name was actually taken from actress Lola Lane, who played Torchy in the fifth film!  So, in a way, I suppose we have Torchy Blane and the woman who played her to thank for comic book's most famous female reporter!

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed the movies and found them to be fun, for the most part well-written, and in most cases, well-acted. A part of me would love to see the character brought back to life today in a television series or series of films, but ONLY if they stick to the source material and keep Torchy and her supporting cast exactly as they were in these films!

RATING:  9 disappearing bodies out of 10 for some fantastic, fun-filled films with a title character that is truly memorable and enjoyable to watch!

Elvira in Horrorland - a Dynamite Comics mini-series

I can remember back in the 1980s, when I still lived in Kentucky, I would stay up late on Saturday nights with my mom, and we would watch a show called "Elvira's Movie Macabre."  It was a fun way to watch horror movies, with Elvira providing commentary during commercial breaks, pointing out the inconsistencies, the bad editing or acting, and other humorous remarks about the films.  It made them thoroughly fun to watch, and I was heart-broken when we moved to Florida and could not find the show on any of the local channels here.  I also remember that at one time, DC Comics (after it's cancellation of its horror anthology title, House of Mystery) published a comic called Elvira's House of Mystery, which took the same concept as "Movie Macabre," but applied it to short tales or horror in comic form.  Sadly, it only lasted 11 issues, with one special.  I know an independent company later published another Elvia comic book series in the 1990s, which actually ran for quite a while (well over 100 issues, if I recall correctly), but I never picked that one up.  Well, at some point, Dynamite Comics must have gotten the rights to do new comics based on this iconic character, and they have been a lot of fun to read.  What started with a four-issue mini-series, then a 12-issue series, then jumped to a cross-over with Vincent Price, has now culminated in a mini-series featuring our titular mistress of the dark accidentally inserting herself into some of horror's most iconic films!

Elvira in Horrorland picks up where Elvira Meets Vincent Price left off.  Elvira was supposed to have been transported back to the "real" world after her adventure with Vincent Price, but the magical remote control didn't quite work right, and instead, Elvira finds herself jumping from one horror film to the next, trying to find her way back to her own world.  Issue one starts off with Elvira stuck in black and white at the Bloch's Hotel, which is run by Norbert, who is a huge mama's boy (and if you don't get the "Bloch" reference, then look it up!).  Of course, in true Elvira fashion, she screws up the whole film in order to get her hands on that magic controller - and is very nearly stopped by the remake!  (Yeah, you gotta read it to understand it.)

Which leads into the second issue, where instead of home, Elvira finds herself freezing at a snowy, mountaintop inn that is very, VERY isolated and where a certain writer is trying to create his next masterpiece while slowly going out of his mind.  Elvira's presence throws a monkey wrench into the story, and she even finds a spaced-out visitor who shouldn't be there (but would be very home in that other odyssey of a film that Kubrick directed).  It's all fun and games (and bloody murder!) until Elvira finds that darned clicker and clicks herself away from there ... and into space!  Only, not that space odyssey.  No, instead she ends up in the corner of space where no one can hear you scream.  Yup, issue three rips off an alien or two.  And after dealing with one mother in the first issue, she's none to happy about having to fight with another mother just to get her hands on that clicker.  And you gotta give Elvira credit - she does try to help the crew of the ship escape their fate, but they just don't want to listen (after all, they have a script to follow!).  So, Elvira simply clicks her way from this nightmare into another one...

The penultimate chapter in Elvira's romp through horrorland has Elvira taking advantage of her nightmare landscape - because remember, it is a dream, after all, and if Nancy taught us one thing, in your dreams, you have the power! - and jumping from one nightmare to another.  Well, from one to three to seven, I should say.  And poor Nancy ... er Heather ... er whoever she is in this comic ... is sure confused by Elvira's antics.  But Elvira only has one thing on her mind, and that's getting back home.  So, once she finds that clicker, she hits the button, only to wind up flying into her final issue - to face a remake of that annoying insect film ... as well as that other mind-blowing movie that Cronenberg did.  It's a battle royale as Elvira finally finds the way home, where Eddie is waiting for her.

 

David Avallone truly has a handle on Elvira and her personality - the quick wit, the snarky comebacks, and the absolute fun of it all!  He writes a wonderfully crazy story that is fun to read and not only pokes fun at all those horror movies of the '80s, but also provides readers (and fans!) with plenty of nostalgia at the same time.  Silvia Califano provides the art, and does an outstanding job of with Elvira, as well as the casts of all these films.  At times, I could almost "feel" the movie I was reading - it was fantastic!  I want to see more of Califano's work!

And if you think that's the end, well ... that little blurb in the final panel says that Elvira will return in Elvira in Monsterland!  (Yet, I've seen no advertisement or solicit for that series yet, so we'll see if it eventually makes it to print or not...)

RATING:  10 ripped shower curtains out of 10 for full-throttle, fun-filled Elvira zaniness that will satisfy every kind of comic reader out there!

Mystery Science Theater 3000 - The Comic (a Dark Horse Mini-Series)

So, after discovering that Dark Horse published a MST3K comic book mini-series that included and parodied the Johnny Jason, Teen Reporter comic from Dell Comics (see my post from back in November 2021 -Johnny Jason, Teen Reporter), I had to track down all of the issues - and so I did!  And let me tell you, a couple of those issues were not so easy to find at reasonable prices.  Good grief, who knew the Mystery Science Theater 3000 comic would be so sought after!  But, at last, I did manage to track them all down, and I had a fun time reading them.  Not only did it feature a parody of the second issue of Johnny Jason, it also included parodies of the old Harvey comic, The Black Cat, as well as a horror title I had never heard of before.  I have to give huge kudos to Joel Hodgson, Harold Buchholz, Matt McGinnis, Seth Robinson, Sharyl Volpe, Mary Robinson, Todd Nauk, Mike Manley, and all of the others who managed to make this comic such a joy to read!

 

Now, I should start off by saying I've never actually seen an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000.  I know, I know - it's been around for quite a while, and I've heard lots of friends talk about it.  But, quite frankly, it was just never something that I was interested in watching.  To be honest, the only reason I sought out this mini-series was because it poked fun at the Johnny Jason comic; otherwise, I would have never picked it up.  But after reading these six issues, if the television show is anywhere near as much fun, then I may have to go back and watch some of them!  I mean, I haven't laughed this hard when reading a comic since the days of Captain Carrot and His Amazing Zoo Crew!  And it's not just the cheesy jokes and one-liners from the characters during the bridge sequences - it's the way the creators managed to take old comics from over 50 years ago and re-write them (to a certain extent) with some characters with today's perspectives.  I mean, take a real character (well, supposedly real) and place them into a comic book, and this is exactly how I would imagine them to react!

So, as the story goes, Jonah, Tom Servo, Crow T. Robot, GPC (Gypsy), M. Waverly, and Growler are basically trapped on the Satellite of Love - and Kinga Forrester and her crew of mad scientists and henchman have created a new machine that can insert people into comic books - and guess who the test subjects are going to be?  The first comic that Kinga Forrester selects is Johnny Jason, Teen Reporter (the second story, published by Dell Comics, June-August 1962).  As the green bubbles wash over the gang, Tom Servo becomes the focus as he finds himself a character in the comic book, standing on the outskirts of Green City.  And thus, starting with page 11 of the very first issue, readers find themselves transported back to 1962 with the second issue of Tom Servo, Teen Reporter in "The Brat"!  And with that, all of the fun begins...

Joel, Harold, and their co-horts do an absolutely amazing job of not only fully reproducing the original art of the 1962 comic (trust me, I read each issue of MST3K right next to the issue of Johnny Jason, Teen Reporter, and it truly is the same art!), but they seamlessly insert Tom Servo into the role of Johnny Jason!  His body remains exactly as it was in the original comic, it is only his head that has been replaced by the top portion of Tom Servo's neck and gumball machine head!  The dialogue and text boxes are nearly identical as the original comic, although the writers do take liberty from time to time in reducing the lines of dialogue in order to make room for commentary by Tom and his fellow crew members, as well as even members of the comic itself (such as on the third panel of that first page of the story, when the doorman comments on how his whistle that he is clearly trying to blow is clogged (that line did not exist in the original comic).  With each page, there is plenty of comedic commentary on the comic - from comic book tires that "light up when they blow" to Shelley Marks calling out for Professor X to save her with both hands put to her forehead to a police officer thinking how he just gave his gun to a hobo - although one of my favorites is the last panel of page four of the story, when the editor of the Green City Journal questions where the back wall went (as all of the furniture against the wall in the previous panels is oddly gone for that final panel, and instead, the original artist simply left the background blank).  

 

In the first issue, we only get 14 pages of the Johnny Jason story, and we are left to pick up the story in the next issue - but, the only thing is, the second issue features Jonah being flung into a Black Cat comic (not the Marvel Black Cat, but the old Harvey Comics Black Cat!).  This was a rare treat for me, as I have several of those old Black Cat comics, and I love the character.  It also featured a short horror tale from a comic called Horrific - whether that was a real comic or not (sounds like something from the EC realm of comics), I don't know, but the tale was definitely in the same vein as the old EC horror comics.  Therefore, it wasn't until the third issue that we return to the Johnny Jason comic, or rather, the Tom Servo comic, to see what will happen next!  We only get a brief glimpse into the adventures of Tom Servo, as the comic also has more on the Black Cat and Horrific stories.  But it's those Tom Servo pages that really had me laughing!  Tom's observations of the all-pink backgrounds, Shelley's father being self-aware that he has no authority in the house, the characters' acknowledgement of word balloons (wondering how readers will know who is talking when you see the balloons, but not the characters!), and Shelley's agent saying the actress is her parents' Star Wars - it certainly gave me a totally different view of the comic story!

 

Interestingly, in the fourth issue, instead of giving readers actual pages from the Johnny Jason comic, we get give pages of "never before seen" pages from Johnny Jason's world as Crow T. Robot, GPC (Gypsy), M. Waverly, and Growler make themselves at home at the Bar S Ranch, and Shelley's mother serves them some lemon bars and punch - but Kinga has other ideas, and she inserts herself into the story as Miss Gulch, bringing with her a tornado of Totino's Pizza Rolls (which is an ongoing joke throughout the series, because every comic must have ads, and the Pizza Rolls are the advertisers supporting the stories - in the comic!), but, of course, it doesn't go as planned, creating more havoc than anything else.

Issue five sees the return to the Johnny Jason ... er, Tom Servo, Teen Reporter comic - with a cover that even pays homage to the original Johnny Jason cover.  We pick up where issue three left off, with the plane Shelley is piloting getting ready to crash.  We only get six pages, before the action switches over to the Black Cat again.  But we do get plenty of re-written dialogue, witty commentary, and hilarious thought balloons as the characters  think about the most off-the wall things - such as one of the kidnappers wondering if the pennycress that are in bloom would make a nice salad, another kidnapper wondering who painted the mountain pink, and Tom wondering whether the ceiling of the cabin where they are held is up to code!

The sixth and final issue of the mini-series wraps up the Black Cat tale and gives us the thrilling (?) conclusion to the Tom Servo, Teen Reporter story!  As Tom helps Shelley escape the kidnappers, and the watch as the avalanche collapses on one of the men chasing them, Tom can't help but think about making a move on Shelley ... and how fun she is ... and how this has been a date that she will never forget!  Of course, as with the original, it is Johnny ... er, I mean Tom ... who reveals the true villain to be Shelley's agent, whose drink turns into a gun in just one panel and he tries to make his escape - but Chuck stops him, grabbing him around the neck (and so astutely observing that "If you grab an agent by the tie, they're powerless!").  As the final panel arrives, so do the green bubbles, which even the editor of the Green City Journal notices (with the comment, "Calgon, take me away!").

This series was definitely an ingenuous idea, and the MST3K guys did an amazing job pulling it off!  After reading it side by side with the original issue of Johnny Jason, Teen Reporter, for comparison purposes to see what was changed, if anything - I went back and just re-read it for fun, and I had a blast.  I would love to see them do more of these - I mean, let's face it, there are a plethora of comics from the '40s, '50s, and '60s that are just ripe for this kind of riff-traxx!  They've been doing it for movies for years, so let's see some more comics - cheesy super hero comics, outrageous western and jungle comics, over-the-top romance comics, and so much more are just waiting for the MST3K treatment!

I definitely give this series a big two thumbs up!

RATING:  10 plates of Totino pizza rolls out of 10 for seeing all of the craziness of the comics from the '60s and sharing the hilarious commentary in comic book format!

Short Lived Comic Series #4 - The Close Shaves of Pauline Peril (Gold Key)

Comics used to be for kids. They used to be fun. They used to tell stories that made you laugh out loud when you read them. They used to also cost only 15 cents, but that's a whole 'nother story, and we're not going to go there.

Case in point - The Close Shaves of Pauline Peril.

The fun little series was published in 1970 by Gold Key comics and was more or less a lampoon of the early movie serials, The Perils of Pauline.  Written by Del Connell and art by Jack Manning, the comic follows the misadventures of poor Pauline Peril, a reporter-wannabe who works for her father's newspaper, The Daily Noose.  What she doesn't realize, however, is that her editor at the newspaper, Snodgrass McViper, is actually sending her out on stories that he hopes will be the end of her so that he can (hopefully) inherit the newspaper when Porterhouse P. Peril dies.  There's only one problem with that plan - no matter how dangerous and deadly the story appears to be, Pauline somehow manages to escape certain doom, either by pure luck or due to the last second rescue by her beau, Chester Chesty.  There are numerous "cliffhanger" style escapades throughout the four issues, and it was truly enjoyable to watch how Pauline manages to somehow survive each adventure and walk away with the all-important story (much to McViper's chagrin).

I had never heard of this series prior to last year's Florida Supercon in July 2015. Combing through various boxes of comics at one of the dealers at the convention, I stumbled across the first issue.  It looked rather cute, and in some aspects, I wondered if it wasn't a parody (of sorts) of Nancy Drew.  The dealer was kind enough to let me take it out of the bag and look through it, and I could easily see that it was a satire of the old cliffhanger serials of yesteryear Saturday matinees.  I mean, the description of Pauline herself on the cover of the first issue pretty much says it all:

- Natural Blond Hair, Naturally
- Beautiful Eyes for Finding Way into Perilous Places
- Reporter's Nose: Can Smell a Story a Mile Away
- Woman's Mouth: Will Repeat a Story for Miles Around
- 18" Waist for Squeezing Through Perilous Places
- Calf Muscles for Muscling Into Perilous Places
- Well Turned Ankle: For Turning Aside from Peril
- Elbow: Ideal for Jabbing Villain's Rib Cage

Each issue finds Pauline and her faithful companion,Weakheart (her old, shaggy, whining dog) going over land, sea, and even in the air to get her story, totally oblivious to the various dangers around her (from dropping safes, to falling out of planes without a parachute, to giant sea monsters, to abominable snowmen).  In issue three, Pauline is even tied to a railroad track (in classic Perils of Pauline style), as well as tied to a log that is heading for a huge saw. Yet, through the sheer luck, happenstance, and, of course, Chesty, she escapes each time unscathed and ready for more.

I did a quick search online and discovered that while the art is very cartoony in style, our heroine never saw the small screen, unlike her "sister" in peril, "The Perils of Penelope Pitstop" (who was also a character in Hanna Barbera's Wacky Races).  Pauline Peril was only ever a star in the comic world, and at that, only for four issues.  Which is a shame, as it was such a fun read.  I would say I'd love to see someone revive the character today, but with the way comics are today, I'd be afraid they would try and turn her dark and gloomy (a la Wacky Raceland, DC Comics' post-apocalyptic verson of Wacky Races).

Toonopedia is a website that has some information about Pauline Peril (http://toonopedia.com/paulinep.htm) and it is where I found some of the information to enlighten me about the character and the comic.

RATING:  9 invisible nylons out of 10 for taking me back to the joys of my childhood cartoons and reminding me what good, clean fun is really like!

Short Lived Comic Series #2 - Portia Prinz of the Glamazons

Eclipse Comics put out a large number of titles back in the 1980s, many of which were exceptional reading (and far surpass most of the comics that are published today).  Titles such as DNAgents, Ms. Tree, Crossfire, The Liberty Project, New Wave, Airboy, Scout, and countless others.  It was truly a shame the company was unable to sustain itself, and eventually closed its doors.  Some of the titles went on to other publishers, but many of them ended up in limbo, pretty much never to be seen again.

Enter: E-Bay!

Through the joys of E-Bay, as well as local comic conventions (and those wonderful boxes of 50-cent comics), I've been able to find some of those old series that I missed out on back in the day (and some that I did read back then, but later sold for various reasons) and purchase them to read.  One of those happens to be Portia Prinz of the Glamazons.

My brother gave me the entire 6-issue run as a Christmas gift this year, so I was thrilled to be able to sit down and read it.  The series was written, drawn, and lettered by Richard Howell, who I best remember from his issues of All-Star Squadron and the Shadow War of Hawkman at DC Comics. What I did not realize was that this series was actually a reprinting (with some additional story and art), as Howell originally wrote and drew the series in the mid to late 1970s.  But that's okay, because Howell did an amazing job telling a very intellectual story in a humorous, campy way.

Portia is the daughter of the queen of the Glamazons, a race of women who resemble the early days of the Amazons from the Wonder Woman comic.  The major difference is, the Glamazons have no problem allowing men that they personally select to come live on the island as their loves and mates, allowing them to partake of the fountain of immortality if they are worthy.  In this tale, the Glamazons are faced with the decision of whether or not to allow technology to come into their society.  An ambassador of the technocratic outside world has come to the Glamazons' home to bear witness to the benefits of technology, yet all the while, she is scheming to actually take over the society and destroy it from within.

Howell provides some very thought-provoking observations on technology and how it can affect, and ultimately rule, the lives of people - which, considering this was written in the '70s, and later added to in the '80s, is amazing, because reading it in today's technological age, is amazing, as he really hits the nail on the head when talking about how people have become so addicted to technology that they lose social skills and basically allow the technology to rule their world.

The characters, most certainly Portia herself, are all over-the-top, with stereotypes of every kind. Wendy and Richard Pini, who provided an introduction in the first issue, said it best:

"As the foremost pseudo-intellectual snob in her own island-based culture, Portia plays with ideas endlessly for her own amusement and, occasionally, for the benefit of those within her circle and without. Her motivations arise out of selfish whim, megalomania, genuine love, or any combination of the above. And she makes no apologies for her arrogance.  Why should she?  After all, who could be a better judge of Portia's many strengths and virtues (Weaknesses?  Hardly!) than Portia herself?
"Did we mention that, despite her obvious superiority to practically everyone and everything, Portia is not above enjoying a spot of levity at her own expense?  She is truly a well-adjusted person, a self-confident person--but not necessarily an unusual person, at least not if you examine the other denizens of the immortal Glamazon culture."

The series is told in a very soap opera manner, with loves and betrayals, with secret agendas, blackmail, kidnappings, and hidden pasts.  It is funny, it is thoughtful, it is outrageous, and it is chock full of story!  That's right, in the time it takes me to read just one issue of this comic, I could easily read three, maybe even four, comics published today.  That's because Howell is not afraid to use more than three panels on a page.  He is not afraid to use word and thought balloons as his characters talk, think, and interact.  Howell is not afraid to give readers plenty of story for their money.

And all of the above is exactly why I so much enjoy reading those independent titles of yester-year.  It's not just about the pretty art or the splash pages or the "big name" creators. It's about a writer and artist who have a story to tell, and all of their blood, tears, and sweat clearly come across in their finished product.

Oh, I have to wonder - just what would Portia Prinz be up to today, and what would she have to say about our world and its society now?

RATING:  9 dramatic monologues out of 10 for keeping my interest in comic books alive!

The Rise and Fall of a Theater Geek

Anyone who knows me, knows that I enjoy the theater.  So, naturally, when I find a book that combines both my love for the theater with my love for a good mystery, I'm going to have to give it a shot.

This book tells the story of Justin Goldblatt, a normal (i.e. not thin, still fighting through puberty) teenager who gets the chance of a lifetime to intern on Broadway with an actor for whom he has had a crush for the longest time.  So he lies to the firm where he was going to intern and takes off for New York...

Only to discover that everything is not what he expected with the internship.  This little comedy/drama/mystery raises some interesting questions - such as who is leaving Justin notes saying "He's a fake"?  Why is the actor's assistant giving Justin every task in the world to do that purposefully keeps him away from the theater?  Who is the person Justin sees walking the streets with the actor's assistant?  There's a mystery afoot, and Justin is determined to solve it and save his favorite actor's Broadway career!

While Seth Rudetsky (the same one who wrote Broadway Nights and The Q Guide the Broadway) does capture some of the drama that teens go through with low self-esteem, petty arguments and jealousies, and the uncertainty of making the right choices, he goes a bit overboard with Justin's incessant whining, whoa-is-me, why is everyone blaming me attitude throughout the entire book.  Yes, the character has a few redeeming qualities (his determination to save Chase Hudson's career on stage) and he does manage to make some positive changes towards the end (such as apologizing to his friends and coming clean with the lies he told to get the internship), but by that time, I was so fed up with the constant whining that I still didn't like the character.  I found his best friend, Becky, and his new-found friend in NYC, Devon, to be much more well-rounded characters and more likable than Justin.

That being said, the underlying mystery was well-done, indeed. You pretty much know who the culprit is the entire time, but what you don't know is exactly what that person is up to and the reasons behind it.  The final reveal at the end is very much like a Nancy Drew or Hardy Boys book, with Justin finding out that last crucial bit of information that makes everything fall into place, then, with the help of his friends, setting up an elaborate plan to catch the crook and trick that person into revealing him/herself.

Overall, not a bad read, but not one of the best I've read.  Paul Ruditis' DRAMA series of books, or Marc Acito's How I Paid for College and its sequel were definitely much better tales of actors and the stage.

RATING:  6 out of 10 standing ovations for being able to tell a good mystery with a very unlikable protagonist.